Partiality – Parents should stop that immediately!

This might sound offensive to most parents, but this is a fact of life. Most parents show partiality, in one form or the other. This is especially true in the households with more than one child. The first born might do well in everything but the second born is not so good at certain things, and vice versa. This might be true or might not be, because in my opinion, no one is better than the other. This might seem like a cliché, but that’s very true.

 One child might be very good in studies, but the other might be the best when it comes to sports. But, since parents think studies is everything and sports is not the way to go, you constantly harp your child about how his or her sibling is being a good child and they need to start doing the same. Parents might think they are encouraging their child to do things right, but they have no idea how much their words hurt their child. They did achieve something, and their parents are not giving them the same level of recognition that they gave to their sibling. This might not be received very well by the children.

This is how sibling feuds and jealousy comes up. Parents often wonder about this too, but what they don’t realise is that they are the reason for half of the fights. Siblings mostly fight over their parent’s attention.

Parents often say that all their children are the same for them, that they love them on the same level. If that is the case, why not show it? Because frankly, no one knows what you feel until you show them. Be proud of whatever your child is and whatever they do. When you compare, they might try to copy what their sibling did, and they might or might not succeed in that, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that they left something that they love to do just because their parents forced them to. This will be an everlasting thought on their mind, and it might lead to many of the future problems between the teens and their parents. Therefore, parents must try to see uniqueness in all of their children, and not try to create a carbon copy just because they think that is how they can be successful.

What happens to a good parent-child relationship?

Everything seems fine until the child is a certain years old. When he or she reaches her teens all hell breaks out. What happens exactly? Is it the parents' fault or is it the child's? Can it be called their fault even? Is it wise to pin point it on someone? If it was in some households, this can be put down to the individuals' characters, but that does not seem to be the case. Almost every household starts facing problems when their respective children enter into their teens.

This can be the teen's fault, in that they suddenly start feeling all grown up and refuse to listen to a word the parents says, but is that really their fault? Are parents being too restrictive? Parents find it hard to give up on the control they had on their children. That is an undeniable truth. People might try to hide this fact, but this is what everything boils down to.

When their child starts having independent thoughts, they freak out. This happens because they care a lot for them, granted, but is it wise to restrict them too much? That is one side of the debate. The other is that the teens' mentality is totally changed in those few months time (transition from 12 to 13) that they completely refuse to listen to anything their parents say. Hormones play a major role in their life, and anything restrictive to their fun is a nuisance, including a parent's kind warnings about the hard facts of life.

I can go on and on about this and a single blog post is hardly going to be able to cover everything. Let’s look into some intricacies of this matter and what exactly happens in the next post.